Here’s Wendy – my love – my partner in life. I’ve refrained from calling her my best friend for she’s so much more. So much more than someone I simply want to spend time with, or someone that I like being with. No, our marriage has illustrated to me the deepest examples of commitment, of service and of partnership. It is rooted in selfless love.
I have a friend who has a daughter. His fear, for her, growing up was about who she would marry. I’m not sure what his fear was based on, but I heard him say many times that he would tell his daughter to beware of boys who told her they were falling in love with her. His rationale was, if they could fall IN love, they could fall OUT of love. I suppose he’s right. He could have a different lens from me with two boys.
He told me in the years following that he felt he made a mistake for his daughter seemed to be afraid of or resistant to being serious with boys – eventually young men.
Now she’s married a wonderful man and they are happily married, but I get his point. Maybe he scared her – maybe he didn’t.
What he did outline for her and I would agree with, is that love can’t be simply attached to how we feel, how we are satisfied or not in a marriage of emotion. No, love must be about what I am prepared to give to a relationship – I am convinced that this is first and foremost. I’ve written about this a bit in the past and always return to this video below. It’s quite self-explanatory but I will add this, that Dr. McQuilken was a very successful academic leader, highly respected and sought after.
I think his resignation speech is one of the best illustrations of human love – and perhaps human love that is rooted in Christ-like love.