Tag Archives: sacrifice

How do you define love

Here’s Wendy – my love – my partner in life. I’ve refrained from calling her my best friend for she’s so much more. So much more than someone I simply want to spend time with, or someone that I like being with. No, our marriage has illustrated to me the deepest examples of commitment, of service and of partnership. It is rooted in selfless love.

I have a friend who has a daughter. His fear, for her, growing up was about who she would marry. I’m not sure what his fear was based on, but I heard him say many times that he would tell his daughter to beware of boys who told her they were falling in love with her. His rationale was, if they could fall IN love, they could fall OUT of love. I suppose he’s right. He could have a different lens from me with two boys.

He told me in the years following that he felt he made a mistake for his daughter seemed to be afraid of or resistant to being serious with boys – eventually young men.

Now she’s married a wonderful man and they are happily married, but I get his point. Maybe he scared her – maybe he didn’t.

What he did outline for her and I would agree with, is that love can’t be simply attached to how we feel, how we are satisfied or not in a marriage of emotion. No, love must be about what I am prepared to give to a relationship – I am convinced that this is first and foremost. I’ve written about this a bit in the past and always return to this video below. It’s quite self-explanatory but I will add this, that Dr. McQuilken was a very successful academic leader, highly respected and sought after.

I think his resignation speech is one of the best illustrations of human love – and perhaps human love that is rooted in Christ-like love.



Getting married is taking a risk

Today I’m off to do something I haven’t done in years – probably over 5 years to be exact.  I’m meeting with a couple to talk about my doing their pre-martial counselling.  Actually counselling is to strong a word – I prefer to think of myself as a guide to allow them to know each other better and to begin the real dialogue which will last them many years.

The odds of course are not with them.  Marriage is a risky matter and the statistics tell us that many people doe’t do so well in it or at it. However, with some hard work and a commitment to each other marriage can be one of God’s great gifts.  So in my opinion the risk is worth taking for the reward.

When we enter marriage we think of it as a 50/50 arrangement – I think that’s a dangerous presumption.  Can I expect to get that much?  How about this kind of thinking – let’s call it a 100/0 surrender – I will give my all with no expectation.  What do you think I’ll get back?

Relationships are the key to happiness – whether in marriage or in the larger family or with good friends.  Relationships take work – and leaving them unattended will guarantee their demise.

So pray for them – pray for all work at relationships.

When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com