Tag Archives: love

How do you define love

Here’s Wendy – my love – my partner in life. I’ve refrained from calling her my best friend for she’s so much more. So much more than someone I simply want to spend time with, or someone that I like being with. No, our marriage has illustrated to me the deepest examples of commitment, of service and of partnership. It is rooted in selfless love.

I have a friend who has a daughter. His fear, for her, growing up was about who she would marry. I’m not sure what his fear was based on, but I heard him say many times that he would tell his daughter to beware of boys who told her they were falling in love with her. His rationale was, if they could fall IN love, they could fall OUT of love. I suppose he’s right. He could have a different lens from me with two boys.

He told me in the years following that he felt he made a mistake for his daughter seemed to be afraid of or resistant to being serious with boys – eventually young men.

Now she’s married a wonderful man and they are happily married, but I get his point. Maybe he scared her – maybe he didn’t.

What he did outline for her and I would agree with, is that love can’t be simply attached to how we feel, how we are satisfied or not in a marriage of emotion. No, love must be about what I am prepared to give to a relationship – I am convinced that this is first and foremost. I’ve written about this a bit in the past and always return to this video below. It’s quite self-explanatory but I will add this, that Dr. McQuilken was a very successful academic leader, highly respected and sought after.

I think his resignation speech is one of the best illustrations of human love – and perhaps human love that is rooted in Christ-like love.

 

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The cost of parenthood

Who knew that when we welcomed Jason and then Philip into our home as newborns what the journey would look like. Apart from the good Lord, we certainly had no idea. From diaper rash, cut lips, bruised legs, hurt feelings and the occasional rash of anger or upset, there have been lots of challenges. Once the boys met wonderful young ladies in Susan and Amanda, it seemed like their launch into adulthood was coming full circle and they would head out to be families on their own and we would observe from the edges and be glad we were dealing with some of those issues over again.

The truth of the matter is, however, that new worries and concerns replace the old ones. Parenthood seems is not for the faint of heart. In fact with two boys becoming four young adults and then two families with children growing quickly, there are additional demands on the heart of the loving parent.

Don’t mistake my comment to imply that parenthood is a burden – it is far from that. There is so much joy on the journey – so much love to be celebrated that it could never be called a burden. But there are dynamics in life that mean we worry about our kids and grandkids, which is natural – isn’t it?

So below are a few pictures that remind us how things change over time and represent the growing nature of our family. We love Jason and Susan, Phil and Amanda and all the grandchildren – Rachel, Ted, Beth, Carlyle and Fitz! And we look forward to what God will do in their lives in the years to come.

Happy birthday Jason

Another celebration for our family has arrived. With the dawning of the sun we remember how January 19th, 1984 unfolded. Wendy was booked for surgery and after a bit of a delay a warm small bundle was laid in my arms – warm and tight-fisted with eyes shut tight and a reasonable desire to stay asleep – I looked upon our first born. Later in the day we really settled on the name Jason David Waters.

I’m not sure how anyone else’s journey was but I remember feeling rather intimidated and frankly alone! Wendy and Jason stayed in the hospital and I went home to a dark house to contemplate what it meant to be a father. Could I be a good father? Would I make the right decisions? 
I discovered what every new father before and since has, that the role is dependent upon the relationship. 
So today we celebrate 32 years for Jason and his family – now expanded – and thank God for his good heart and mind. We thank God for his journey and trust God to continue to lead and provide in ways that will not always appear immediately to any of us but are more real than we imagine.
Happy birthday Jason.