I only heard him speak in person once, but I have a couple of his books. You may have heard by now of his confession of an 8 year affair with a married woman. He has withdrawn from public life and is concentrating of saving his 55 year old marriage.

I remember Dr James Dobson speaking many many years ago. Wendy and I were had been recently married and our corps officers brought a series of films (translation for the younger crowd: videos) on marriage. Wendy and I attended.

I had bought a book of devotions for newlyweds that we were reading together each night and we were really determined to build a good marriage. So we took in the film series – 6 nights if I remember correctly.

And one of the things that Dobson talked about was the sudden revelation of an affair which we all were aware of in some high-profile individuals. Dobson talked about how these things start. Small variations from ‘the norm” – a coffee, a lunch, a gift, a touch… but always returning to normal behaviour before another deviation, which in time became bigger and bigger deviations.. He went on to say, we see the end result, a man or woman, leaving their family, their spouse, their commitments. But it all begins with the small variance of behaviour.

I’ve never forgotten that. And so I was always on guard for the small variance of behaviour.

One of my smart friends said about being at work – buy your own stamps. Yes, if you decide to use the office to mail your own cards, letters, etc (and maybe that’s gone now too) then those small compromises lead to larger ones.

So Yancey shocks us by his public admission of betrayal to his wife and family. But you can know this started a long time ago in small ways.

From Proverbs 4

Get wisdom; develop good judgment.
    Don’t forget my words or turn away from them.
⁶ Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you.
    Love her, and she will guard you.
⁷ Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!
    And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.
⁸ If you prize wisdom, she will make you great.
    Embrace her, and she will honor you.
⁹ She will place a lovely wreath on your head;
    she will present you with a beautiful crown.”