What was Jesus getting at when he asked Peter, as recorded in John 21, if he loved him?

Here’s the text:

After breakfast, Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these”?

“Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.”

What is hidden from the English text is that the words that Jesus uses and Peter responds with are two different loves. Jesus used the word agape – the Greek word for divine love. Peter uses the word philia, the Greek word for brotherly love.

The City of Philadelphia is known as the City of Brotherly Love.

Remember that the context of these verses comes out of the fact that this is the first time Peter has met Jesus after Peter had denied knowing Jesus at the time of the crucifixion. There is no condemnation by Jesus of Peter, no “why did you do that?” no “what were you thinking?” Jesus goes to the heart of the matter – what is motivating you, Peter? What value do you see in our relationship, Peter? And more to the point – “Why did you go back to your old job fishing?”

Yes, it’s the important question – do you love me?

Peter and Jesus have this dialogue three times – Jesus asks again – do you agape me Peter? Peter is honest – “I philia you Jesus”.

The third time Jesus uses the same word as Peter – philia – I think we could accuratey say that Jesus asks Peter this question: “Do you really love me like a brother?”

We’re fickle most of the time. Our demonstration of our love fluctuates. We are anxious to raise our hands and sing our hearts out…but when we’re alone, when we are thinking about what WE want rather than what Jesus wants, well then our love may look like it’s less passionate. Less PTL and more this is what I want to do.

I’ve often thought of what Jesus might say to me if I showed up to breakfast with Him. Maybe you hae too.

Here’s what I hear. As the waves lap at the water’s edge, and the fire that Jesus had built turns into hot coals. As the other disciples eat or walk or chat around them, Jesus is keen to have Peter sense that it is “good” between them. Jesus is anxious to reset the relationship. Jesus is keen to meet Peter where he is.

That is, I believe why Jesus changed His word for love. He accepts that Peter loves Him like a brother. And I believe Jesus meets us where we are.

Do we doubt? Do we hesitate to trust? Do we have past hurts? Do we struggle?

Jesus meets us where we are and simply asks us can we trust Him as much as we can at that moment. Can we move forward with Jesus through the circumstances, through the emotions of the moment?

When we do we can learn that maybe we can love Him a little more today than we did yesterday.