As I am listening to Barack Obama’s A Promised Land, now 31 hours into it out of 40 hours, he spends some time talking about the personal cost of serving as a staffer in the White House. He spells out the family separation, the long hours, the constant weight of the work, the consistent criticism of the media, and the unwillingness of the opposition party to give any support for success in dealing with the very things that citizens want resolved.

Yes, personal cost. Makes you wonder why anyone would want to be a leader.

As Obama talked about his staff he talked about what he learned from the women, capable women, who were leading in his administration. They described their experience as “demoralizing”… of being brought to tears after being berated by a man, or of being cut off mid-sentence by a man or having put forth an idea that was ignored, to hear the same thing from a man 30 minutes later as their idea.

Now I wish this only happened in the White House. Unfortunately not. I’ve heard the same thing from Wendy for our entire lives as Salvation Army officers. Or cute comments like, “Thanks for showing up” or “We’ve got it covered sweetie” or similar takes on the condescending tone.

Women I know who deal with this worry about being labeled as “oversensitive” or “too emotional” and yet this is not really about them. It’s about a culture that men have not dealt with, a sense of superiority and insecurity.

I hope, in retrospect that I have not been in that number, I have certainly tried to live by Micah 6:8 but as the offence is in the eyes of those who receive it, I would offer an apology.