Funeral stories continue

I’ve written in the past about some of the humorous things which have happened at the time of a funeral which I was leading.

There was the time my funeral was interrupted by a minister who was looking for the funeral he was suppose to be leadings, the time a funeral coach needed boosting from a tow truck, the time the funeral director fell in the open grave (while I had my eyes close – I was praying) .

At one funeral, the death of a father opened up for some of us the awareness that the parents were estranged from a son living in the UK. He, and I’ll call him Steven, had indicated to his mother he was not coming to his father’s funeral. They had another son who lived in the city and he was looking after matters for his parents.

On the day of the funeral, with the chapel full, I had the family arranged to enter through the rear doors when suddenly through the doors came Steven. He had flowers in his hand and a plastic bag. His mother reacted loudly hugging him and immediately crying. I suggested we return to the room where everyone had been and began moving everyone that way. Of course, those in the chapel could hear and see something of what was going on.

As the family returned to the room, Steven turned to me and said “I need 5 minutes at the end of the service and a sharp knife.”

A sharp knife?!!!

Photo by Lukas on

I ran down the stairs into the kitchen and found a not-so-sharp knife returning to the room and getting the family ready to enter for the service.d

At the end of the service, I told the congregation how lovely it was that Steven had arrived and that he had asked for a few minutes at the end of the service. Steven came onto the platform and while looking across those gathered said, “well I didn’t expect this many people here”.

He then explained that his father really liked chocolate…and pulled out of the plastic bags three boxes of chocolates. having not expected so many people he didn’t have enough chocolates and he thought he could cut up the chocolates but of course, now that seemed impractical.

So he called the grandchildren to come and get a tray of chocolates and offer them to as many people as possible. Once they were handed out, he raised up his chocolate and said “let us partake of the body of Gary (his father)”.

I thought the family was going to strangle him …and I was left to offer the final benediction before we headed off to the cemetery.

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s